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#1 13-12-10 19:55:14

johnp
Verified Member
From: Dorset
Registered: 04-03-06
Posts: 2,636

How does Aspergers affect you?

One of my lads with complex problems passed today because we were able to selected Signs for ID.
We declared Aspergers as his other problems were not recognised.

A few interesting issues with an excellent Examiner.

1st question. "What shall I call you?"
Call me what you like.
"What do you friends call you?"
I don't have any friends.
"What does your mother call you?"

2nd question.
"Oh you have Aspergers, how does that affect you?"
Well Aspergers is a spectrum so it would take a long time to explain the number of effects.

(I don't think it was an appropriate question to ask as many would not recognise the condition.)

3rd question.
"It is not as bad as you thought is it?"
You have not given me the result yet. 

It was all very light hearted but- 
We must get everyone to have an option of 3 boxes 1. Diagrams 2. Signs. . 3. No preference
This would prevent positive discrimination or intrusive questions being asked.
   


Driving is books-
1. "safe and responsible INDEPENDENCE."
2. "DISABILITY into ABILITY" 
3. "PSYCHOLOGY than SYSTEMS.
www.drivingincludesu.co.uk

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Re: How does Aspergers affect you?



#2 22-09-11 07:22:49

JimA
Verified Member
From: kingston upon thames
Registered: 21-09-11
Posts: 6
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

hi johnp, hope your well, re your aspergers question i am an ex police surveillance officer. i am a class 1 advanced, specialist in counter hijack and evasive driving. having left i became an adi grade 6. ive recently got a bit bored of that and am training to become a yacht cruising instructor and deliver yachts for Pydww (professional yacht deliveries world wide) i had, at the request of my partner had a test as my son has it and i found i have it quite severely i scored 17 out of 20. for me i don't feel emotions as NT's can, i loose interest in things relatively quickly especially when i have become quite good at them. if your unfortunate enough to have to be caught at a party with me you'd have me talking in great depth about one of my chosen subjects (boring for you, great for me) lol.

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#3 24-09-11 07:28:23

Pilgrim
Verified Member
From: Boston Lincolnshire
Registered: 27-02-04
Posts: 586
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hi Jim

you are nor alone with your condition there is a well know ADI Trainer Julia Malkin Mbe who you might be interested in looking up if you do not already know of her you might find her an example of how to develop your ADI career.

Tony


Offering You the Freedom of Drivng in Boston
www.bostondrivingschool.co.uk
www.12drive.co.uk

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#4 24-09-11 10:34:59

JimA
Verified Member
From: kingston upon thames
Registered: 21-09-11
Posts: 6
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Fortunately / Unfortunatly  I have my new special interest now lol ... Delivering yachts for owners and teaching sailing to day skipper / coastal skippers but as it's not constant I think teaching bikes may also possible for the several weeks I'm in uk - maybe working freelance for a company as and when they need me and I'm about. Obviously not possible teaching people to drive cars. Should be fun and an excuse to buy a great bike lol

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#5 12-10-11 11:03:23

johnp
Verified Member
From: Dorset
Registered: 04-03-06
Posts: 2,636

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hi Jim, I have only just stumbled on your comment,

It is a very interesting topic as like all 'conditions' the effects are very variable and how we deal with them is also variable.
There should not actually be any difference between how we teach those with Aspergers and those without, because we should be meeting the individual needs of all our clients.

I have wriitten about many of those I have taught with Aspergers in my books and have half a dozen at present and they are all very different.  One of the problems with Instructors who have a condition, or know of someone with a condition is the presumption that they are all the same and need to be taught in the way the instructor learns. Some of those with Aspergers like to be taught in boxes as that is often their comfort zone and yet this is the last thing they may need as a drivers since they need to be taught to think outside of the confines of the box.

Coping with distraction is something which needs to taught and yet control of the lesson needs to be firm to prevent the mind wandering.   And how it can wander and become fixated !!


Driving is books-
1. "safe and responsible INDEPENDENCE."
2. "DISABILITY into ABILITY" 
3. "PSYCHOLOGY than SYSTEMS.
www.drivingincludesu.co.uk

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#6 12-10-11 19:47:44

JimA
Verified Member
From: kingston upon thames
Registered: 21-09-11
Posts: 6
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

As an Aspie instructor grade 6, police advanced driver and  specialist / instructor in counter surveillance, counter hijack and evasive driver trainer. And now delivery skipper sailing yachts around the world, I find that my aspie traites are more gifts than disabilities but My problem is once I get good at something and the challenge has gone I totally loose interest. What is your background in mental health?

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#7 21-10-11 10:21:03

johnp
Verified Member
From: Dorset
Registered: 04-03-06
Posts: 2,636

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hi Jim,

I have 50 years in SN Education within the normal school and Driver training and specialist Assessments for medics.
It was on my first Teaching Practice in 1961 that I recognised the need for teachers to understand that not all students learn in the same way and I have made it my career to attempt to influence others to at least condider that there may be different ways to learn and teach.

These differences make people what they are and teachers just need to understand the differences rather than to label them and make them different.

20 years ago when I became an instructor I could not believe the lack of Specific Needs information and training offered to ADIs .
Words like dyspraxia, aspergers, dyslexia were unheard of. This is why I wrote the books.

Awareness is now changing, but we now have the problem of labels and pigeon holes which we also do not need.   


Driving is books-
1. "safe and responsible INDEPENDENCE."
2. "DISABILITY into ABILITY" 
3. "PSYCHOLOGY than SYSTEMS.
www.drivingincludesu.co.uk

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#8 21-10-11 18:56:29

Robbie
Verified Member
From: Shrewsbury
Registered: 29-02-04
Posts: 1,230
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

I had Aspergers pupil fail test yesterday.
His test was terminated after just 5 mins due to safety issues.
I then had to explain to him, why it had been terminated (i was in back!), as he was told at start test would last 40 minutes, and he had only driven for 5 mins.
I had a lot of anger from my pupil, including swearing, punching dashboard and steering wheel, and stamping his feet.
On way home he called the examiner lots of unrepeatable things.
The test was terminated as he had put it into 1st gear instead of 3rd after emerging from junction, and then slamming brakes on as he didnt know what had happened. There was a van behind that nearly went into back of car.
He had also messed up bay park at start, and pulled out in front of car at first roundabout outside test centre.
I never realised how angry this pupil could get as its the first time i had come across an Aspergers person, and i had never heard of it when he told me.
I have been trying today to rebook a test but as i have to phone i gave up after 4 hours of trying.
The only thing that worries me is that he gets the same examiner, as he now hates him.
I am also his 2nd instructor, as his 1st one let him down, and betrayed him and his trust (his exact words!)


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#9 21-10-11 20:24:53

JimA
Verified Member
From: kingston upon thames
Registered: 21-09-11
Posts: 6
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Yes some aspies like NT's can be suffer anger issues. The spectrum can also include terrets syndrome. For me im the opposite i dont have an ability to care about anything and can only recognise happy as a emotion. It also sounds like he had a problem with the gears which is not unusual for any one.

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#10 22-10-11 07:35:00

johnp
Verified Member
From: Dorset
Registered: 04-03-06
Posts: 2,636

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hello Robbie,

A few points
Don't presume all Aspergers will react in the same way.
Some are very mellow as Jim states.
I have one who gets extremely frustrated with himself and with life not making sense that he also gets angry.
He then apologises and shakes my hand in a formal apologetic manner.

I am also so aware that some should not drive, but I will encourage any to succeed if possible. Maybe he should not be driving !!??

We sometimes have to be stern with them so they understand the implications of their actions. It is like dealing with a young child who has a tantrum. They have to be taught in a simple way that it is unacceptable.

I would tackle his reaction and how he needs to control it if he wants to be a safe driver and the consequences if he does not. Road Rage. Discuss it with parents as they will have coped with it for many years.

His response is what needs dealing with and he will need teaching how to cope.

The gearing problem could be the spatial awareness and dyspraxia often linked with Aspergers.


Driving is books-
1. "safe and responsible INDEPENDENCE."
2. "DISABILITY into ABILITY" 
3. "PSYCHOLOGY than SYSTEMS.
www.drivingincludesu.co.uk

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#11 22-10-11 08:52:58

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Robbie, from the sound of your experience on the test, this guy is just not ready. Also, don't forget that people with these conditions may use them as a weapon and a way of avoiding having to take responsibility.
Some of it can be the parents fault because they're cossetted the kids so much.

Just my humble opinion, of course.

Hilary.


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#12 22-10-11 11:15:07

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

As an Aspie instructor grade 6, police advanced driver and  specialist / instructor in counter surveillance, counter hijack and evasive driver trainer. And now delivery skipper sailing yachts around the world, I find that my aspie traites are more gifts than disabilities but My problem is once I get good at something and the challenge has gone I totally loose interest. What is your background in mental health?

I have had a tendency to do that but seem to have stuck with being an AdI. I suspect that what happens is we begin to see what a sham everything can be once the experts start to crop up everywhere. So, generally lose one can lose interest because, ultimately, everything turns into a rat race the higher you go.

Hilary.


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#13 22-10-11 14:05:45

Evan
Administrator
Registered: 27-12-09
Posts: 2,058

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Robbie, from the sound of your experience on the test, this guy is just not ready. Also, don't forget that people with these conditions may use them as a weapon and a way of avoiding having to take responsibility.
Some of it can be the parents fault because they're cossetted the kids so much.

Just my humble opinion, of course.

Hilary.

How very true Hilary of so many people in society today. The  world of its not my fault its someone elses.

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#14 25-10-11 04:29:30

Robbie
Verified Member
From: Shrewsbury
Registered: 29-02-04
Posts: 1,230
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Thanks to you all for your responses and opinions, and they have all been taken on board.

What didnt help was his previous instructor taught him a lot of things differently to me, and i have found it difficult to get him out of his ways, eg clutch down when braking.
I spoke to his old instructor about him a few weeks ago and told him that test was booked, and he said he gave up on him, as he wanted to do a one week course and he doesnt do them, and all he did each lesson was drive him around the industrial estate where TC is located, but also do it free of charge as he was a friend of a friend.

Also he was having two 2 hour lessons a week, and doing very well, but then as soo as i booked his test for him, which was 5 weeks away, he dropped to one 1 hour lesson a week, due to cash issues. As he also lives out of town, 20 mins of his lesson were travelling in and out of town, and also having to go to a cash point to get money as his village cash machine always out of order.

As for the gear issue, he had never done it while driving with me, which is why he didnt know what had happened.
His car control was usually very good, and most of the time his awareness was good, until he saw something that took his focus, then he would concentrate on that, instead of his driving, and i had to regain his focus to driving.

While he does drive, he does mutter to himself and also get naggy and swear if he does something wrong that he normally does ok. He also has a thing about female drivers, that they shouldnt be driving and goes on about it on lessons.
He also keeps going on about being accepted as an adult (27 years old), and what his family think of him learning to drive, that they dont know why he's bothering. Also he keeps telling me that he doesnt have much time left.
At the end of every lesson he always shakes my hand.

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#15 28-11-11 23:15:27

Lord Sid
Verified Member
Registered: 25-09-08
Posts: 27

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

....Also, don't forget that people with these conditions may use them as a weapon and a way of avoiding having to take responsibility.
Some of it can be the parents fault because they're cossetted the kids so much.  ...

Hilary.

I'm an ADI, with a 21 year old son with Aspergers, and I really do not recognise either my son, or the few others with Aspergers that I know of, from your description. I find it rather sad that without having met the person you can suggest that his behaviour is down to either avoiding responsibility, or being cosseted by parents.

I learned long ago that with Aspergers, it is you who will often need to try and adapt and enter their world, and understand things from their perspective, rather than expect them to adapt to you. Thats neither easy nor quick, but after a while it starts to pay dividends.

Regarding the original post, anger can result from frustration that many aspie's feel, but lots of people have anger management problems, so it may be nothing to do with having Aspergers, it may just be he has a foul temper. Everyone with Aspergers is different, and they are no more likely to 'use their condition as a weapon', than anyone else is.

May the good lord save me from all amateur psychiatrists.


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#16 28-11-11 23:39:54

Lord Sid
Verified Member
Registered: 25-09-08
Posts: 27

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Also he was having two 2 hour lessons a week, and doing very well, but then as soo as i booked his test for him, which was 5 weeks away, he dropped to one 1 hour lesson a week, due to cash issues. As he also lives out of town, 20 mins of his lesson were travelling in and out of town, and also having to go to a cash point to get money as his village cash machine always out of order.

As for the gear issue, he had never done it while driving with me, which is why he didnt know what had happened.
His car control was usually very good, and most of the time his awareness was good, until he saw something that took his focus, then he would concentrate on that, instead of his driving, and i had to regain his focus to driving.

While he does drive, he does mutter to himself and also get naggy and swear if he does something wrong that he normally does ok. He also has a thing about female drivers, that they shouldnt be driving and goes on about it on lessons.
He also keeps going on about being accepted as an adult (27 years old), and what his family think of him learning to drive, that they dont know why he's bothering. Also he keeps telling me that he doesnt have much time left.
At the end of every lesson he always shakes my hand.

The first para sounds like many of my learners.

The following paras seem much more likely to relate to his Aspergers, likelihood to be distracted, muttering and, being bothered by irrelevant issues, I recognise all of them in my son.

Aspies see things differently. A good example was on his DVLA medical with his GP (for some bizarre reason DVLA require Aspergers drivers to declare their condition, but don't require someone who is autistic to, and autism can be far more disabling)

Doctor's Q (from computer screen). What is your DOB and address?

Son's A  Why are you asking that? It's on the computer screen you are looking at.


Result--one temporarily speechless and confused doctor. My son was not being a smart arse, he just could not see the point of the Doctor asking a question he already knew the answer to, and actually found it somewhat confusing that he did so.  So  they both ended up confused. I found it quite hilarious.

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#17 29-11-11 05:20:12

Robbie
Verified Member
From: Shrewsbury
Registered: 29-02-04
Posts: 1,230
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

After failing his test, we booked another and he had about 10 hours of lessons, as money no object.
I had a 2 hour lesson the day before his test, and the old problem, of him coasting and changing gear far too early reared its head again, and when i mentioned it to him, he came back with the mixed messages and confusion again, from what he was taught from his previous instructor.
He took his test,, and again i sat in. I couldnt really tell until the end whether he had passed or not, altough i was aware of a number of minor faults.
He failed with 20minor and 3S, of which 2 of them were a collection of 4 gear faults so became a S, and 4 Blind spot checks, which became a S, and 1 S for reverse left, which i though was OK!
He keeps using the restricted movement of his neck as excuse for not checking blind spots.

He was still conscious of his gears etc, so i made a suugestion to him of Auto, which he liked the sound of, so i have now passed him to an auto instructor just to try, and see how he gets on, although i would like to know how he gets on down that route. He said he just wants to drive, so if thats the route to take he was more than happy to try.
watch this space.

I must admit i will miss him, as he's a lovely lad.

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#18 29-11-11 08:40:39

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hilary Hughes wrote:

....Also, don't forget that people with these conditions may use them as a weapon and a way of avoiding having to take responsibility.
Some of it can be the parents fault because they're cossetted the kids so much.  ...

Hilary.

I'm an ADI, with a 21 year old son with Aspergers, and I really do not recognise either my son, or the few others with Aspergers that I know of, from your description. I find it rather sad that without having met the person you can suggest that his behaviour is down to either avoiding responsibility, or being cosseted by parents.

I learned long ago that with Aspergers, it is you who will often need to try and adapt and enter their world, and understand things from their perspective, rather than expect them to adapt to you. Thats neither easy nor quick, but after a while it starts to pay dividends.

Regarding the original post, anger can result from frustration that many aspie's feel, but lots of people have anger management problems, so it may be nothing to do with having Aspergers, it may just be he has a foul temper. Everyone with Aspergers is different, and they are no more likely to 'use their condition as a weapon', than anyone else is.

May the good lord save me from all amateur psychiatrists.

My points are pertinent in view of the original posting. You are, of course, allowed to express your experiences on here, just as I am mine.


Hilary.


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#19 29-11-11 12:43:23

Lord Sid
Verified Member
Registered: 25-09-08
Posts: 27

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

My points are pertinent in view of the original posting. You are, of course, allowed to express your experiences on here, just as I am mine.

Hilary.

I agree wholeheartedly, you are allowed to express your experiences here, however that is exactly what you have not done. You have however expressed an opinion, not backed up by anything at all. It is, as far as I am concerned, a somewhat misleading opinion as there is no evidence that Aspie's are any more, or less, manipulative than anyone else.

You may wish to detail your experiences with 'Manipulative' Aspies, and it would be interesting to see if alternative explanations to 'manipulation' exist. 

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#20 29-11-11 13:19:50

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

If you'd bothered to read my post in any detail whatsoever, you would have noticed two things of particular importance:

1. I said may use them as a weapon.

2. I stated that the parents can be at fault.

May I suggest that you might just be a little too close to the problem yourself?

Please reply politely or, being as you are such an expert and find my posts so unhelpful, may I otherwise suggest you merely click me out of your post readings by way of  your profile?

Hilary.


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#21 29-11-11 14:39:02

Lord Sid
Verified Member
Registered: 25-09-08
Posts: 27

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

If you'd bothered to read my post in any detail whatsoever, you would have noticed two things of particular importance:

1. I said may use them as a weapon.

2. I stated that the parents can be at fault.

May I suggest that you might just be a little too close to the problem yourself?

Please reply politely or, being as you are such an expert and find my posts so unhelpful, may I otherwise suggest you merely click me out of your post readings by way of  your profile?

Hilary.

1. Anyone might use something as a weapon.Why do you suggest that Aspies are particularly manipulative in this respect?
2. Anyone's parents can be at fault. Why do you suppose that Aspies' parents are particularly at fault?

You may suggest anything you choose, but without any particular logic to support your suggestion, I'm not going to be too interested.

I am sorry that you find criticism impolite, but this is a forum for debate, and if you are prone to making unsupported statements, for which there is no particular evidence,  you should expect to find your statements criticised.

Still waiting to see your experiences that led you to what I consider to be an incorrect and misleading view about Aspie's. Maybe if I read your experiences I might alter my view, or perhaps I could point to other explanations for the behaviour.

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#22 29-11-11 14:41:40

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Sorry, can't be bothered.
Hilary


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#23 29-11-11 16:00:56

Lord Sid
Verified Member
Registered: 25-09-08
Posts: 27

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Not absolutely sure why you bothered posting in the first place you cannot even try to justify what you posted. It sounded like nonsense, and it clearly was.

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#24 29-11-11 16:09:53

Hilary Hughes
Verified Member
From: Stockport, Manchester
Registered: 25-06-04
Posts: 1,232
Website

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Completely and utterly ignorant. what a shame I cannot find the little button in the back office that allows us to block content from a certain user. Does anybody know where it is?

Hilary.


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#25 29-11-11 18:45:49

Promanade
Guest

Re: How does Aspergers affect you?

Hi Lord Sid, not getting involved with the debate as i dont enough about it. What i do know is why a Doctor would ask for DOB and Adress even when the information is on the screen. It is within a doctors or nurses guidlines that the question (though obvious) must asked. It would take to long to explain and i only know this to be the case because my wife was a nurse of 25 years and my best friend is a GP (i have also in the past asked my wife and friend why this question is asked). So i am very surprised when you say the Doctor also looked confused.
Please excuse my interuption smile

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