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#1 04-03-08 09:23:11

BroomBroom
Member
Registered: 03-03-08
Posts: 10

Dread Lesson day

It's got to a stage now where I actually dread having driving lessons, I feel all nervous and anxious when I wait for my instructor to arrive and find myself spending almost the whole time with one eye on the clock thinking 'Christ when is this going to be over?'

I don't dislike the driving, I find it of course a challenge but quite enjoyable aswell, I enjoy learning new things although like most I don't really start enjoying them until I get good at them. But I don't like being shouted at for doing something wrong and it seems that's all my instructor seems to do, I understand that praising me for doing something good isn't going to achieve anything except perhaps an ego boost but it seems like he'll find fault with everything. A couple of weeks ago we did a 3-point turn as he there was no traffic, I'd never done one before so he said he'd do it so I let him take control but within 10 seconds he was shouting at me for not using my mirrors and nearly crashing into a lamp post behind -"But you said you were going to do it.." then we just drove on in awkward silence for the next twenty minutes.

The problem is that I feel really uncomfortable with my instructor, it just seems that all he wants to do is criticise and have a go. But the thing is that I know I'm getting better and now I'm in a bind. I've been warned against going with someone else at this stage as it'll take at least a couple of lessons a new instructor to get to know me and my strengths and weaknesses but if I stay with this instructor I know that I won't enjoy learning and if I don't enjoy learning no matter how improved a driver I am - what is the point?

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04-03-08 09:23:11

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Re: Dread Lesson day



#2 04-03-08 09:36:49

Lynne
Verified Member
From: Essex
Registered: 05-03-04
Posts: 925

Re: Dread Lesson day

I've just typed a page and lost it  :evil:

Right...I have to make this quick and short now.   

Broom find yourself another instructor.  Straight away.  You are the client not the other way round.  You need to enjoy learning that's how you'll get the max benefit out of it. In the long run it will save you money when you feel comfortable and confident with someone.  I get a lot of people from other instructors and they're often quite demoralised.

You shouldn't be receiving instruction that makes you feel like this.  Any instructor worth their salt will be quite happy for you to book just one lesson with them to see how you gel especially if you explain what's happening now.  You won't need to tell them who you are currently with.

Ask friends...go for recommendations if you can.  Let us know how you go.  You won't look back. 

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#3 04-03-08 09:39:15

Dimmy
Guest

Re: Dread Lesson day

People learn faster if they are enjoying what they do.

1stly, try discussing this issue with your instructor, he/she may not be aware of how they are making you feel.

2ndly, if things dont improve with your current instructor IMMEDIATELY, then go elsewhere.

A good instructor will quickly be able to assess your standard and have you improving.

The benifits of an enjoyable lesson with a new instructor will far outway the concerns you have regarding the change.


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#4 04-03-08 10:16:06

Loopy Lou
Verified Member
From: Berkshire
Registered: 03-11-07
Posts: 554

Re: Dread Lesson day

If your instructor is "shouting" at you, they are acting extremely unprofessionally.  sad

There is no need to shout at a pupil. You are paying this person to teach you to drive safely, not to yell at you and make you feel small.

If your child's teacher was yelling at them in the classroom for getting their work wrong, what would you do? say nothing or intervene because it's unfair? I'd guess the latter...

Remember - you may be getting things wrong, not because you are a "bad learner", but because your instructor is not modifying their teaching to suit the way you as a unique individual learn. What works for one learner driver, won't work for another and any decent professional instructor worth their salt won't shout at you for not "getting it" - they'll adapt the way they are teaching and try another approach that suits "you" better.

Please don't accept being yelled at and having your confidence shattered...

Find another instructor NOW...as Lynne says, have a trial lesson with someone else and see if the way they teach suits you better - if not, keep trying until you do find someone you feel comfortable with.

If you stay with this person, it wil take you longer to get to test standard as you will continually feel anxious and on edge and this will inevitably lead to more mistakes.

There is nothing wrong with praising a pupil either as long as it's sincere, not patronising and not overdone...what's wrong with an ego boost? We all like them, we all feel good when someone praises us and the world is a happier place for a while  big_smile You'd make a lot less mistakes if you were getting any form of praise...

I run a driving school and I would personally go balistic if I thought any of my instructors were making a pupil feel as bad as you clearly do

Good luck and please let us know how you get on... smile


It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful...

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#5 04-03-08 10:56:21

ExAdiNigel
Member
From: Plymouth, Devon
Registered: 13-12-04
Posts: 4,739

Re: Dread Lesson day

If an instructor is shouting then he/she has lost control.

Don't worry about 'this stage of the game', even if it takes a couple of lessons for you to get used to another instructor and another instructor to get used to you, as Dimmy says, you will learn quicker if you are enjoying your lessons.

So get rid!

Where are you based?  Is there anyone on here that is local to you?  Can any of your friends recommend someone?

Good Luck

Nigel


National Standards Cycling Instructor, Ex Adi

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#6 04-03-08 11:55:05

pj
Verified Member
From: surrey
Registered: 27-02-05
Posts: 1,794

Re: Dread Lesson day

totally agree with nigel....get rid quick.


PJ Dip DI

if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

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#7 04-03-08 12:32:52

BroomBroom
Member
Registered: 03-03-08
Posts: 10

Re: Dread Lesson day

Thanks for the advice, I've decided I am going to go with another instructor, I do feel I'm actually regressing in terms of skills, if I do something wrong he yells at me, I lose total confidence and I just lose it for the rest of the lesson. So yeah, I'm going to start looking for someone else now.

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#8 04-03-08 12:52:00

littlemissbitch
Member
Registered: 09-01-08
Posts: 83

Re: Dread Lesson day

yes like ppl have said above you definatly need a new instructer , altho im nervous before every lesson once im in the car im usually fine ,  i do thing's wrong all the time and im got my test tommorow altho last week my instructer did comment that i was been sloppy but it was out of nerves and not me been sloppy but i think he was just worried that my test was close and was kinda telling me in his way to pull my sock's up .

but apart from that i have never been shouted at , everytime i do something good and it can just be going round a large roundabout correctly using all my mirrors im supposed to and he will say good , he says it all the time which gives me confidence , if i do something wrong he wait's to see if i have noticed (as i normally no it's wrong ) if i dont say anything then he will tell me  that i have done something incorrectly

if i do pass tommorow im attually going to miss my driving lessons lol as we have a laugh when were out , so you definatly shouldnt be feeling like this , i sacked my very first instructer 12 years ago  after 3 lessons as he had to use the brake on me and his body laugauge said it all , he was sighing and tutting well that was enough for me and he never even raised his voice lol 

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#9 04-03-08 13:24:32

Loopy Lou
Verified Member
From: Berkshire
Registered: 03-11-07
Posts: 554

Re: Dread Lesson day

Thanks for the advice, I've decided I am going to go with another instructor, I do feel I'm actually regressing in terms of skills, if I do something wrong he yells at me, I lose total confidence and I just lose it for the rest of the lesson. So yeah, I'm going to start looking for someone else now.

Good for you  big_smile

You won't regret your decision... tongue

Good luck (and good luck to littlemissbitch for her test tomorrow too  wink )


It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful...

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#10 04-03-08 13:42:39

VandADI
Administrator
From: Coulsdon, Surrey
Registered: 29-02-04
Posts: 7,592

Re: Dread Lesson day

BroomBroom, where are you based?  Perhaps an ADI from this forum could help?

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#11 04-03-08 23:49:57

PiperIan
Verified Member
From: Renfrewshire
Registered: 18-06-05
Posts: 768
Website

Re: Dread Lesson day

It always disheartens me when I hear stories like yours BroomBroom.  I can never understand why an instructor needs to shout and get upset.
I have started at least 3 pupils over the past 2 years who came to me because their instructors shouted at them.  One told me he was made to feel like a primary school pupil every time he stalled the car as he would just give big heavy sighs and then be very sarcastic towards him.
The bottom line is I am trained to instruct.  Pupils are there to learn a new skill which they have not done before.  This means that mistakes are very likely to be made during the learning process.
So when a pupil makes a mistake, why get upset ?. It's the job of the professional to rectify them.  The good thing about mistakes are that we learn by them.
I pride myself in that I have never once shouted at a pupil and I have occasionally had some real wallys to deal with.
I wish you the best of luck BroomBroom with your new instructor and hopefully he/she will bring back your enjoyment of learning to drive.


I'll never forget Wotzizname !!!

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#12 05-03-08 08:26:02

helee
Verified Member
Registered: 12-11-06
Posts: 182

Re: Dread Lesson day

There is no need to shout. At times we get frustrated but that isn't with the pupil its the situation and what we as an instructor says to make it 'click'

I have a student at the moment who didn't get on with her last instructor and gave up for 2 years. She had had 5 hrs with him and decided driving wasn't for her yet it was one of her 'life goals'

She is now fulfilling that dream but such a shame it's 2 years later than she wanted to.

Don't give up (even for a couple of weeks) get a new instructor and crack on.

Good luck

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#13 05-03-08 08:32:16

keefidee
Verified Member
From: south east wales
Registered: 25-11-06
Posts: 510
Website

Re: Dread Lesson day

Go with the new ADI and enjoy the learning!

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#14 07-03-08 16:31:53

koolchick
Member
Registered: 14-03-07
Posts: 225

Re: Dread Lesson day

Going with a new ADI does not mean going backward in learning. I went with 4 ADIs only 1 was my choice to change and that was the 1st change on my 1st lesson with 2nd ADI I did all the driving I would normally do tho probably on slightly quieter roads but it didn't bother me at all and I have to of been 1 of keenest learners I asked to drive from home and the ADI agreed to let me. You really don't notice a difference in what you are doing in the lesson. Even the 3rd ADI I had let me drive from where he picked me up and I really struggled to drive different car so he drove me to quiet road which I was annoyed at myself for not driving better but after that I was driving on all roads in that lesson so didn't slow my learning at all. With a good ADI you will look forward to lessons not dread them so get one you like.

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#15 07-03-08 18:48:40

wolfchild08
Member
Registered: 20-01-08
Posts: 54

Re: Dread Lesson day

Broom I would get well rid of this instructer.  You are paying him to teach you not to criticize your every move! As an instructer he should be patient with you and understand that you are learning. If you are doing something wrong he should be helping you get it right not shouting at you.  My instructer is always very friendly, he advises and helps me in areas I need to improve.  This is what an instructer should do.


Theory passed 1st time 19/1/08 49/50 65/75
1st Practical failed 15/5/08 2s 8m
2nd Practical failed 13/6/08 - 1d
3rd Practical failed 27/6/08 - 2s 13m
4th Practical failed 11/7/08 - 3s 10m
5th Practical passed 2/8/08 - 7m

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#16 09-04-08 13:55:27

razzie
Member
Registered: 30-07-07
Posts: 25

Re: Dread Lesson day

Get a new instructor, as one that dents your confidence wont help.
Its never too late to change - my sister changed instructors after 2 failed tests (failing on the same thing both times). The new instuctor picked up on the fault (without being told why she had failed), spent 2 lessons correcting it after which, my sister passed.
As a you are learning - you are bound to make mistakes. Dont ever settle for something your not happy with - you are paying after all.

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#17 12-04-08 22:25:58

musosmiffy
Verified Member
Registered: 12-04-08
Posts: 2

Re: Dread Lesson day

This advice is good - have you changed your instructor yet? How are you getting on now?

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