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#1 05-01-08 13:32:28

iwanadrive
Member
Registered: 25-05-07
Posts: 110

Extra lessons with a partner/friend

Hiya everyone,  Hope you all had a nice Christmas.

I figured i would start this thread to see if there were any other people like me who are learning to drive with a partner or friend, who may have a story or comments to tell.

For example, today, i went out with my partner for a driving practice, we had some stuff to take to the tip so set off, but before that he decides for us to call at the shop.  he buys a paper and then proceeds to read the paper the whole way from there, to the tip, even though i'm not sure where i'm going.  Then just as i am almost on top of a junction, he will inform me i need to turn down there, then getting me stressed out!  He does this the whole way to the tip and then when were there proceeds to tell me just as were on top of the car parking space to 'pull in here', with no warning.  I find that when i go out with my partner he expects everything to be easy for me and that even though it may cause confusion for other drivers will just expect to change things or for me to perform them that instant.

Who knew learning to drive would be much fun!  Feel free to post any of your stories here.

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05-01-08 13:32:28

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Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend



#2 05-01-08 17:13:02

driverpete
Verified Member
From: Nottingham
Registered: 06-02-06
Posts: 457

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

Perhaps you should remind him that as the accompanying driver he needs to be ready to take control of the vehicle at any time. If he's reading the paper, on his mobile or admiring the scenery he ain't in control and more to the point could be prosecuted if the boys in blue spot him!

One of the advantages of learning with a professional is that he/she will be 10 steps ahead of you and will give you plenty of warning if you need to turn left/right/park here. Another advantage is that we know what the examiner is looking for when it comes to the test; not that I have any particular axe to grind of course big_smile


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Retired RoSPA Approved Tutor
Retired NDAC & NDAS trainer
Retired ADI

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#3 05-01-08 18:23:08

iwanadrive
Member
Registered: 25-05-07
Posts: 110

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

I do have lessons with an instructor as well so am well aware of the benefits of having an instructor, especially the fact that he tells me directions well in advance. This is sometimes what causes the probs, because i expect him to be as good as my instructor and take everything slow and give me time to prepare.

However, saying that, my driving has come on a lot since my partner started going out with me in my own car six months ago, so can't fault him to much.  In a strange way, i think our relationship has also improved, perhaps its because we get rid of the tension when driving around, i get stressed with him and he can get frustrated with me, then we go home and play happy families!

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#4 05-01-08 22:38:28

jackie99100
Member
From: Merseyside
Registered: 08-09-07
Posts: 133

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

well, i have had a 5 minute lesson with my husband and that was my lot neutral i was taken home and told to start having 2 lessons a week instead of one as he couldn't cope with me tongue, i gave him a nervous breakdown and i would have been divorced by now if i would have had a 1 hour lesson with him :evil:,he is  not a very patient person wink and god knows what would happen if anyone took me on a lesson and they were reading the paper yikes


Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts

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#5 06-01-08 01:04:02

Zipper
Verified Member
From: Darwin, Northern Territory Aus
Registered: 20-08-04
Posts: 2,696
Website

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

...However, saying that, my driving has come on a lot since my partner started going out with me in my own car six months ago, so can't fault him to much...

I'm not surprised to hear that.
"Private practice" has been proven as a skill & confidence booster. When my students have advanced to the point where they can drive without their partner putting teeth marks on the dashboard, I advise them to book their next lesson at a date that will ensure they get some practice in between.
Of course, the accompanying driver must share the responsibility of driving and will be answerable for any 'incident' that may occur.
I think that one reason why private practice boosts confidence so much is that the learner is more exposed to driving hazards (instructors with their experience & dual controls provide a safety shield).

...In a strange way, i think our relationship has also improved, perhaps its because we get rid of the tension when driving around, i get stressed with him and he can get frustrated with me, then we go home and play happy families!

I'm happy to hear that!

Learning to drive with her husband was very stressful for my sister.
Before one trip, Sandra got some stuff together inside the house while Bevan went out to the car.
She walked up to the car to see Bevan rolling cigarettes with trembling hands and putting them in the glovebox - obviously preparing himself for a harrowing journey.
Sandra must have been affronted by this lack of enthusiasm for her driving skills because a flaming row ensued and they never went driving together that day!
That was years ago but I still laugh when I think of it. Bevan gave up smoking and they both (sadly) gave up marriage, though they are still friends.


Zipper ("G'Day Mate!")
I'm not 65! I'm only $59.95+tax
www.drivingnt.com

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#6 10-01-08 15:07:27

littlemissbitch
Member
Registered: 09-01-08
Posts: 83

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

Hi

I have been learning to drive with just my husband and no ADI up untill yesterday as i had my first lesson with a ADI yesterday , i find it very good really it's helped me alot and made me want to take proper lesson's now ,it's built my confidence no end , it's got me from been a very very nervous driver , to a fairly confident one , my husband tho is very good , he does get mad sometimes but i just tell him to shut up and that i am a learner and i will make mistakes lol , but it is very rare and it's usually if i've done something that he consider's unsafe , overall he just sit's there and watches me  , he doesn't give me any direction's as usually i just drive where i want to,  like i drive to do the weekly shop , so i know where im going , i personally think my husband would make a very good ADI as not many husband/partner's can put up with teaching there spouse , i know i couldn't as im far too impatient lol,  so if he can teach me i think he could teach anyone

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#7 17-01-08 20:04:03

Jonesy038
Member
Registered: 17-01-08
Posts: 1

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

My first experience of private practice yesterday was a little up and down. I am learning in a Mini One, and my friend insured me on his Peugeot 307 1.6 which is a fair bit more powerful. It actually took me quite a lot of getting used to. I have had seven 2-hour lessons up to this point. I found that I had to be slower bringing the clutch back up on the 306 than the Mini when I was changing between low gears (anyone suggest why?). I was extremely nervous to be honest, as it's the first time I've been out without an instructor and no dual controls, but hopefully it will help me to learn more quickly.

First post by the way - hi there folks.

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#8 17-01-08 21:41:06

iwanadrive
Member
Registered: 25-05-07
Posts: 110

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

Hi Jonesy and welcome to the board.  It took me some getting used to when learning in my own car.  i was always saying to my boyfriend that 'i never have to do that in my instructor's car'.  Even now i sometimes get confused between what i can do in my own car and in my instructors car.  for example, when going slow and emerging out of  junctions when its clear, my car is better in first gear where as in my instructor's car i can do it comfortably in second.  I also found that in my instructor's car i had to bring the clutch up slower than in my own car.

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#9 17-01-08 21:53:08

madam x
Member
Registered: 22-11-07
Posts: 4

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

I first started learning to drive with my husband supposedly teaching me many years ago. The experience was so dreadful that I completely lost confidence and only went back to learning again last year.This time with a professional instructor I might add!! I'm so annoyed with myself that I left it all these years simply because of the way my (now ex!!!) husband made me feel. Looking back, he wasn't that great a driver anyway :evil:. So unless your partner has the patience of saint  and nerves of steel I would always reccommend professional tuition. Ann

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#10 17-01-08 22:01:46

littlemissbitch
Member
Registered: 09-01-08
Posts: 83

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

I first started learning to drive with my husband supposedly teaching me many years ago. The experience was so dreadful that I completely lost confidence and only went back to learning again last year.This time with a professional instructor I might add!! I'm so annoyed with myself that I left it all these years simply because of the way my (now ex!!!) husband made me feel. Looking back, he wasn't that great a driver anyway :evil:. So unless your partner has the patience of saint  and nerves of steel I would always reccommend professional tuition. Ann

totally the opposite for me i feel more confident with my hubby than the ADI but i know what you mean my mum passed her test 30 year's ago or more and just after she passed my dad was out with her one day and was a complete idiot shouting at her etc even tho she had passed,  and she didn't drive again untill 20 year's after and she only drove because she had too , she moved out into the stick's where she had to drive 20 mile to the nearest town,  it knocked her confidence totally , she  doesnt  drive now as 7 year's ago she moved back to a town  and doesn't really need too drive  ,it's through ppl like my dad that can really put you off driving , i would never have him sit in with me 

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#11 17-01-08 22:12:45

iwanadrive
Member
Registered: 25-05-07
Posts: 110

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

My boyfriend isn't that bad a teacher, however he's been driving for over twenty years so for him driving is so natural that he ends up expecting too much of me and for me to be able to do complex driving with ease such as parking in really tricky spaces.  It's nice in a way that he's overly confident in me but other times i have to remind him that i need more time to think about what I'm doing and to process which way I'm going to turn the wheel etc.

Am glad that your husband has been such a good driver littlemissbitch, it's great when you've got someone there who can go out whenever you want and who makes you feel good about your driving.  you'll have to share him round!

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#12 17-01-08 22:17:20

littlemissbitch
Member
Registered: 09-01-08
Posts: 83

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

My boyfriend isn't that bad a teacher, however he's been driving for over twenty years so for him driving is so natural that he ends up expecting too much of me and for me to be able to do complex driving with ease such as parking in really tricky spaces.  It's nice in a way that he's overly confident in me but other times i have to remind him that i need more time to think about what I'm doing and to process which way I'm going to turn the wheel etc.

Am glad that your husband has been such a good driver littlemissbitch, it's great when you've got someone there who can go out whenever you want and who makes you feel good about your driving.  you'll have to share him round!

lol he does annoy me sometimes but it doesn't bother me i just say im learning so shut up and he does just that he shut's up

i have told him that i think he would make a great ADI as i think if he has the patience to teach his wife to drive then he could teach anyone 

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#13 27-01-08 20:21:28

Shazzer
Member
From: Staffs
Registered: 27-01-08
Posts: 203

Re: Extra lessons with a partner/friend

Hi, I've had professional tuition with a very patient instructor and been out twice in my husbands car. He is more confident in me than i am! I'm very aware that he had no dual controls. My instructors car is a focus, and Hubby's is a mondeo so set out very similar but the instructors is a 5 speed 1.6 and my husbands is a 6 speed 2.0 TDCi so a lot more poke. I find it ok to drive, and it doesn't feel much bigger, but the clutch is different, obviously, and you can emerge in 2nd gear, but in the instructors it has to be 1st. The scary bit is if your revs go over 2000 the turbo kicks in and you accelerate!
Driving privately does help my confidence, if i can overcome the nerves enough to get in and do it!

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